Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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