even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
