Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
