nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
