nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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