oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
