he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
