I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
