I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
