Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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