it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize