Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize