If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
