So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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