Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
