sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
