She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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