Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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