Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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