I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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