So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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