You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
