Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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