I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
not ubering you a puppy
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
