before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
