i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
