Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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