Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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