I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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