He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
