# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
