Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
