laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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