We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
