I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
