he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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