We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
