I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
do herpes really smell.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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