i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
