do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
