peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
