OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
