So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
