I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize