I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize