I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize