Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
