he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I need to calm my uterus...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I have peed in a lot of sinks
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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