spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
