return my video game
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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