yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
