STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
