And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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