My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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