Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
