No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
