No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
