Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
