And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
