Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
