so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i think i just lost a toe
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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