i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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