i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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