One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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