Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
