she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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