also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
